Monday, April 20, 2009

Final answer....

Well, today I went "public" so to speak with the news that the Pittsburgh Marathon is a no-go for me. After sulking most of Sunday and hitting emotional rock bottom, I think I am finally at peace with it and I am beginning to allow myself to look forward.

Saturday night's 30 min treadmill walk pushed things too far I guess and I am back to square one. Despite the fact that it seemed to go OK (I mean, really, how can you say for sure what is pain and what just feels odd?). But when I got off, any load on that leg came with a shooting pain. It was scary and not much better at all on Sunday. And not much better today either. I resorted to crutches as recommended, even to the gym. Clearly I am in acceptance and recovery mode...whatever it takes.

Back to PT today, where the consensus was we rolled the dice and came up short, but it was worth a shot. I have no regrets about having tried. Now we regroup and move forward. I am back OFF the leg once again. I tried the bike today and it was bad news...first time. I'll try again Wednesday.

Jake and I are thankfully back in good stead and he is trying to help identify other non-running goals I can work toward in the short run. He has shown enormous patience with me the last two weeks and I know that this is disappointing for him too. It is hard not to feel like I let him down, but he put a positive spin on things and pointed out I'll still feel like a veteran training for the next one! I know I will be stronger heading into it, mentally for sure. I'm ready to get to work. Well, almost. Right now my job is to be patient and careful and start replacing the energy I've drained from the strain on several relationships!