I’m a day out from the Richmond Marathon. Last year at this time, I was being chased by the fear of failure from having missed what was supposed to be my first marathon the previous spring. A leg injury delayed things till fall, and I had a single-minded determination to finish that race and get a Boston Qualifying time since based on training times I was fairly sure I was capable...physically anyway.
This time around I feel like I am equally determined to have a good race, but not driven by fear. This time….I’m not sure how to describe it….I want to be more “in the moment.” I don't want to be running from fear, but within a (however small) bubble of confidence.
I’m still anxious of course, that's part of the process. The marathon has not been far from my thoughts all week. My biggest concern has been, am I too relaxed? Have I focused on the task at hand enough? I’ve had a very busy week, really a busy last FEW weeks with training, work, family things, and kids’ activities. I think it’s good I’ve been occupied because obsessing doesn't do any good. It may not have been restful week, but this is real life, and I'm glad for all the facets of life.
Jake and I will run together. We’ve targeted what we think is a doable pace for me, and for his ailing IT band that’ll take work, but is not overly aggressive. I will focus on running a mile, 26 times over, and working to come as close to the goal pace as I can for each mile. I will stop at water stops, stay relaxed, and strive for “flow” in my run. I will set fear aside. I will remember that tough patches will not last forever, and I will stay positive. I will think of countless people who have encouraged and helped me and honor their faith in me. I will remember how blessed I am that I am physically able to run and that I have the time and resources to do so safely and comfortably. I will reflect on how running has impacted my life and my children’s lives. I will remember that pain is temporary but the joy of overcoming doubts is forever.
I’ll report back after 26.2