Enough already

This was one LONG day with class at 11, 12:30, 2:00 and 3:30, then cello for Spencer, worked while Grant enjoyed some food from ABP, home, then out for two hours of grocery shopping with students in preparation for tomorrow's camping trip. I am exhausted, but a pretty fun day in a lot of ways.

After feeling somewhat optimistic about being race-ready by May 3, tonight I am feeling less so. Despite two days of crutches/cane I'm not feeling like things are improving the way I would expect (or hope). Now I am concerned that the longer I am off of it the greater the chance for other things to go wrong with other parts. I need to stretch and keep everything else moving as much as possible. I'm going stir crazy and just dying to run a little tiny bit and see how it feels. Just a little. I almost just don't care.

JRP talked to the PT guy, in part to keep me honest and also because I know I may be hearing things through a *slightly* optimistic filter. I am looking for hints that all will be well in time. Today PT guy asked about my expected marathon times which I took to mean that he is feeling like I'll make it!

On the other hand, PT guy also said that if all goes well, I will only do some short runs and at most a 5 or 6 miler to prove my mettle before the big M. Yikes.

I'm looking forward to getting back to a normal running and lifting schedule.

Bench PR!

So HOW in the world is it that JRP is able to so accurately predict what I can do? He said I'd bench my bodyweight at the meet and even though I didn't think it was at all possible (120 lbs) I did it. The plan he sent for today said "we" were going for 130 and I really, REALLY thought there was no way. Especially because I feel so spent and bummed about whatever is going on with my calf. But I did it! My left arm lagged and it wasn't pretty, but I did it!! This is definitely a PR for me because I don't think I ever accomplished that without a bench shirt back when I was powerlifting. And a bench shirt can add maybe 10% or more to your bench because it is so tight and resists the descending weight. Boy, I needed that.

I stayed off my foot most of the day - crutches/cane, whatever it took - except the gym where I just couldn't do that. As a result things feel much better, far less acute. I can even convince myself all is well except that it is not...yet. But it will be. I know it.

The lack of cardio is driving me crazy and I miss the endorphins, I miss the dripping sweat, I miss the mental challenge of keeping my body going when it prefers to stop! I rode the bike for all of six minutes today, not enough to satisfy.

Patience. Trust. Faith.

Arghhh

Oh boy. Today I had an appointment for PT fortunately with an experienced guy who has run marathons for years. His best time I think was in the range of 2:40, so clearly (!) he knows what he is doing and he understand the obsessive nature of running. Unfortunately this appointment was sobering. The issue is with a muscle/tendon that runs down the outside of my calf ending in a painful area just above my ankle bone. He suspects tears and flat out told me I am in denial but if I am a fast healer there is hope. We will know in two weeks. He also said I need to keep all weight off that foot for now meaning crutches/cane. Lovely. I'd rather be pushed around in a wheelbarrow. But I said I would do what I have to do to heal so I guess I don't get to pick and choose. My neighbor just got over an incredibly horrible leg fracture and has all the equipment that I can borrow.

My leg went from feeling a little better this morning, to worse after hoofing it around campus, to really bad. I'm thinking there is short-term pain from the massage and it will feel better tomorrow? I sure hope so.

The GOOD news is he said I can ride the stationary bike to my heart's content and do any lifting as long as it doesn't require standing up. That will make things challenging for Jake.

And how will I manage this camping trip on Friday?! I can't even go there...not just yet.

The inevitable happened...

Too depressed to write much about it but I had a misstep on my run this morning and have tweaked something in my ankle. It's not major, but sore and somewhat swollen. I'm icing like crazy and doing what I can to get this gone. I have less than four weeks to go and this is very unsettling. It pretty well took the wind out of my sails.

Mental benefits of workouts

Yesterday I was fit to be tied - just wound tight and overwhelmed by life. I had a workout scheduled with JRP, thank goodness, because I'm not even sure I could have gotten myself in the gym otherwise. He got me to focus and work hard and by the time I left I felt so much better and my head had cleared. The more stressed and more busy I am, the more important my workouts and runs become. Those endorphins are fabulous.

And it was a good workout too - pullups, dumbell grasscutters with a drop set, bent over rows that he says I need to get stronger on (?), etc. This is the most sore my upper back has been in a while. Gotta love it.

I'm thinking I'm coming out of my recent run "funk" too where everything had been feeling sore, stiff, and slow. In the last two runs I was able to get some flow going, where things just click and I can put effort in efficiently.

It's going to be a challenging month. Maybe it's good I'll be pretty busy and won't have time to overthink the marathon. I'm excited for the race, but to me the real joy, the real fun, and the real accomplishment has been the training. When I first saw the program, it was hard to imagine myself 12 weeks into it, yet here I am, enjoying the process, and allowing myself to start looking beyond the marathon.