Just when you think your "training" is a "trainwreck"...

It's no secret that training has been tough this year. I have included things like "trainwreck" and "salvage operation" and "did what I could" in many of my post-activity comments.

But every day I wake up and give it my best because I know that consistency and persistence count for a lot.

Well one of the things I love about training is that just when you think it's a hopeless disaster (allow me just a bit of drama queen, thank you), the "training gods" can throw you a curve ball of great training results. Which I got this weekend, and very much needed for my confidence.

Mentally I felt strong, and had none of the negative brain chatter telling me (over and over) to quit. My mind was clear and relaxed. I got out of my own way and let my fitness and experience take over.

I'm super proud of myself for a solo 60 miles at 21.3 mph followed by a short but solid brick run. Then today I ran 12.6 miles with a negative split and positive outlook! Both days I finished feeling good and not trashed. The endurance is there, now I know the mindset I need to be successful.

This is just my PSA that if you are in a plateau, a rut, a tough spot - stick it out. The rewards come to those who persevere and push through. No, this wasn't a race. But it was a victory that was no less important.

Mental endurance and the busy brain

I have often said that my life is "balanced on the head of a pin." I make it all work, but perhaps just barely. It doesn't take much additional load to threaten that delicate balance.

Well, this year has been quite the test. The precarious balance has been challenged by the sudden loss of my father and the ensuing responsibilities of working with my sister to help my mom, including selling a house, buying a house, and planning for an interstate move. Now we have a central member of our family (our Grandfriend) fighting for his life, on day 17 in the ICU. And my best friend is going through tough times.

But, this is life. This IS life.

Through it all, I swim, bike, and run. It's an escape from the phone and computer, from decisions, and from the noise of life. I make it happen, even when I don't want to, and I bring my best to it, whatever it is on the day.

My physical fitness and physical endurance are pretty good and my bike power numbers are strong.
And thanks to the appetite-suppressing "benefit" of stress, I'm at a good race weight, lol.

The real challenge right now is mental endurance. A busy brain and heavy heart are the enemy of speed and endurance. The busy brain yells "quit" a lot. In that condition, there is little hope for resiliency if I am under-fueled, under-hydrated, or sleep deprived.

Last weekend I had a long brick that started with a strong bike, but then mid-run, I stopped and sat on a guardrail, sobbing, and wondering what I was doing. It was all I could do to finish.

In three weeks I am racing IRONMAN 70.3 Chattanooga. I can't do that there. This may be my biggest racing challenge yet.

Time to dial in the mental game, nutrition, and sleep. Time to quiet the brain, and let the fitness do the job.

gratuitous Saki kitty picture

My winter of indoor training

Up until this year, I was pretty hardcore about training outside unless it was dangerous (i.e. ice, potential zombie apocalypse, etc). This summed up my attitude:

This winter things really changed. One big reason was Zwift. Rather than dreading the boring indoor trainer ride, I came to enjoy it. I'd put a movie on one screen, Zwift on the other, and I positioned the kid's music stand horizontally for my phone, mouse, and fuel. It's a great setup and often better suited to the specific workouts I needed to accomplish.

I got curious and queried Training Peaks. Since January 1, I've done 43 bike rides, and only 8 of them outside. That's crazy! Prior years it was probably the complete opposite of that.

There's been a cascade effect with my runs. Of the 53 since the beginning of the year, just 26 have been outside; 27 have been on the treadmill in my basement or in a gym. In all of 2015 I only found one treadmill run on Training Peaks, there may have been a few more, but nothing close to 27!!

All 27 swims have been inside too (haha), whether at the pool or on the Vasa Swim Ergometer. That's not something I want to take outside in Virginia quite yet!

I've softened my stance on the indoor vs outdoor decision. There are some definite upsides to indoor training. On the bike I often get a better workout especially if the goal is to hold a particular power level. I can focus more fully. On the run I can hold a prescribed pace - something that is difficult to do on the roads. I can also push the pace more, again - no distractions! I run my easy runs easier because I do a better job of keeping tabs on my heart rate.

There are time efficiencies, and fewer layers/laundry in the winter! And for the longer training sessions on weekends it has allowed me to stay home among the family even if that just means they are walking by as I'm pedaling or running.

Indoor training also takes less mental energy to initiate. Over the last five weeks, with fragile emotions and an overloaded brain, the trainer and treadmill have been a salvation. When I have debated inside or outside (clearly procrastinating), Coach Jim reminds me to go with the one that is "easier to get started." After all, starting is the hardest part. I am fortunate I've had indoor, at-home options that have allowed me to keep up my training. If I had let training totally fall apart, I think I would have too.

I'm not discounting the importance of outdoor rides for bike handling skills, and not discounting the amazing benefits of outdoor rides and runs for the spirit. I look forward to more.

So, have I gotten soft? Or smart?

I don't know, but I no longer need to prove my toughness to the weather. Only to myself.

My Perfect Zwift Avatar...and Me

I've spent a fair amount of time on Zwift this year - the immersive online cycling environment that has drawn pro cyclists, pro triathletes, and a large international community of riders. I've had a great time riding, doing programmed workouts, chasing down Sprint and QoM jerseys, and being part of the community of riders.

There's so much realism in Zwift, with one significant exception: no matter the effort, and very unlike my messy real self, my virtual cycling avatar always looks GREAT!

She is perfectly smooth and laser-focused, she never sweats, and she never complains! She doesn't fumble with her water bottle, needs no food, and never stops for a "bio break." You won't find her blowing snot rockets or burping, or shifting in the saddle from chafing. The girl needs no chamois cream riding that immaculate bike with the perfect fit. She never flats and never hits a pothole (causing expletives to leave her mouth). Her kit is spotless and stays put. She clips in smoothly without fail, and shifts gears imperceptibly. She never groans or sighs or shows any signs of distress.

She is totally cool.

Me? Sweaty, messy, and groaning.

The photo at the top was from an FTP test today at Coach Jim's (photo credit: Coach Jim). I had about 3 minutes left (out of the 20) and he captured me very deep in the pain cave, on the suffer bus. I was heads-down focusing on cadence and power with a puddle of sweat below me.

I'll take the sweat and mess of the big effort. The sweat and mess are all part of the "fun."  (May I add that I did totally surprise myself and add 12 watts to my FTP from January - #ZwiftEffect + great coach.)

Just the same, I'm glad my online avatar is not a realistic depiction of me. Thank you Zwift.

Ride on!

New racing year, new challenges

Over the past week, USA Triathlon has been sending out 2015 All American certificates to those who finished in the top 10% of their age group.

I got one too, for finishing 54th in my age group (45-49) out of the 1908 athletes who had completed 3 or more triathlons. This was my sixth year in a row receiving recognition. I dipped my toe into the sport with a single race in 2009, then dove in fully in 2010.

To me these certificates represent six years of challenges overcome:

• daily challenges to make the time to train
• challenges to balance training with work/life/family
• physical challenges (2 broken fibulas, drop foot, TLF injury, IT band, posterior tibialis tendonitis, iliac artery surgery and all the other little things that pop up)
• motivational challenges

Of course, it does not come without ample rewards - of the good feelings of movement, the excuse to get outside, and the wonderful community of endurance athletes.

The challenge facing me this year feels a little different. Racing takes a lot of positive emotional energy, desire, hunger, and focus. I'm not feeling very strong in those areas right now. There's been more "going through the motions" these days than I'd like. But that's OK. This is part of the journey. Life is echoed in sport. 

Coach Jim reassures me that my workouts are just fine. Swim speeds, power numbers, pace:heart rate - the data confirm that. 

This time it's my spirit that will need to find its way through. The best fuel for that is gratitude, perspective, and happiness.