Monday, September 14, 2015

Who is in charge?

There's been an interesting power struggle going on in me this year as the legs and the mind wrestle with who exactly is in charge.

Is this part in charge?

Or is it this part:

(and yes....I did put the "O" for Olympic under my age, then realized I labeled myself "480" at Challenge Williamsburg)

Very recently, during a few tough speedwork sessions, I have felt like my brain was able to overrule my legs' desire to let off the gas. Maybe it was some sort of mind-body disconnect, or the two-way communication became one-way. I don't know. I only know whatever happened I want more of it.

Looking back on the last few years when the iliac artery problem kicked in, I realize I was definitely letting my legs call the shots. I pretty much had to, there was no ignoring exercise induced restricted blood flow. After the repair, I had a lot of fears - fear of that pain, fear that I was not really fixed, fear the fix wouldn't last. So I continued to let my legs call the shots.

But a year and a half later, I think my mind is starting to take hold of the reins again and I like it. It's scary - it's new territory. I wish I had more time before Chicago to understand it a little more, to trust it, to trust myself.

My goal this week is to have the courage to let my mind rule, and to allow my legs to obey. I'm not concerned with my placing or where I finish. I just want to show myself I have courage.